would be artist, MB

Another new year

2012-01-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

I have a new apartment. I have a room mate, as well as a new friend. Her dreams are to make women's clothing more spunky, fun, and unique.

I was laying down on our living room couch. This painting sort of came to me... a frozen image, jagged trees, burnt browns, and smoky greys... snow layed thick. I want to create this freezing space, that is lying dormant... I want there to be these fierce dogs protecting this space until spring comes, and it can grow again.

I want these dogs to look beautiful, and angry... as though they could be hunted too... but they will not back down, for protecting their home.

What happens whenyou leave the flock?

2011-10-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in a near empty cafe. I go there about twice a week: "Table for one... coffee and a danish... thank you." The book was "Art and Fear." When I read the book at work, I hide the title with my hand, with a slight fear of being caught... because I find it incredibly hard to explain myself.

But there are questions running rampant in my head... I feel them as though they are boiling with in a small space, with no holes for the pressure escape. As though I recieved a kick in the stomach, and the injury remains. I feel this disabling emotion: a stew of guilt and failure served hot.
The questions are simple: why do students give up? why is art necessary? am I a bad person for wanting to be an artist? What if my art is no longer familar to me? How do I get rid of all these anxieties, so I can start? What if it isn't the same?

The waitress brought me the coffee. The book explained: yes, students give up because in the insitution art is made with constant feed back, the young artist is driven by naive passion with out knowin the obstacles her work will face with out the protection of academia.. a real artist rises as a result of the times, and is everyday person with a reflection of an everyday reality. The obstacles are: people don't care if an artist creates or not, art is on decadence, art is misunderstood... I generally find myself on shaky ground, trying to stabilize myself, none the less having this feeling that I constantly have to defend myself.

I'll admit I switched to an art major on a whim with out fully knowing what it truly takes to become an artist... you get out of school, and say, "I studied art." then bam, the person says, "why? where are the jobs? what were you thinking?" then I feel this critical hit to my confidence. "I'm sorry... I don't know the answer to any of these questions." Then I find myself pacing, what have I done, what have I done... while in college, my answer would have been, "because it's the right thing for me to do."

In moments where I feel the truest break down of character, where I feel as though my personal flame is about to be stamped out, I find this small confidence, "don't give it up... it's going to take time... keep searching for places and people to help support you. Hold out, start simple... my sketch book has these quiet studies... a painting is out of reach, but still within sight"

New Job

2011-05-07T04:25:00.000-07:00

Night shift... and factory night shift..

my first week there.. I realized it is best to be separated to avoid rumors, cliques, and awkward conversations. I was warned in advanced that the factory is male dominated, the work is harder, the hours are longer, and machines are unforgiving. I realized it's been better to just keep with in myself... I am not as muscular as most of my coworkers, but I can move quickly for long periods of time which allows me to keep pace. As I work I watch the color of the sky through the opaque glass roughly two stories above me. I like the periwinkle color of the early dawn, and deep, solid, dark navy of the sky in the dead of night.

The factory is very loud. There are screams and wails of the air being removed from the packages, and escaping machines, the loud clangs of the grider, the chug of mechanical arms and elbows, and clutter bangs all around. My co workers comminuicate mostly using hand signals. Two nights ago my machine broke down completely, my trainer waved at me to follow her.

We went down these flimsy metal stars, and slammed closed this large metal sealed door, and into the basement beneath the machines... There was a long hallway and heaps of powdered sterofoam beaneath these large steal cynlinders. These long bulbs of light were held by chains from the cynder block ceiling and swayed animating the shadows.. She walked over to the cynlinder beneath the machine I was working with... it was the most cluttered with heaps of artifical snow. Warning signs were stickered all over images of severed fingers, caution sharp blades inside, danger, caution, hot... "do not touch these, but check to see if your grinder is full," my trainer said, "You can tell just by observation,".. I looked around, and I had this weird sensation that I've been here before...not here, but some where like here..

factories have always attracted me. I like machines, I like industry, I like how people transform into inefficient machines, I like the colors of smoke, I like the textures of raw materials... I like the feeling knowing that there are places to work at... at home. Industry is the only part of me that is nationalist... I like knowing where things are coming from, how things are made, and who is making them... I like working, and I like the impact of enirvoments made on people, I like the inspiration... I have dual interests as much as I like industry, I love nature.... it's just there is this complication between fragile ecosystems, technology, and the human factor

thinking things through

2011-02-17T09:50:00.000-08:00

I've been working a lot. Things are better than they were before. I got promoted to a shift supervisor, and I've been gaining more work experience and responsibility. It's just been challenging trying to make the demands of student loans... I have this weight on my conscience that I am not ready to marry under the circumstances and debt, I will bring into the relationship. I've been thinking about joining the Navy for some help with loans, and work experience... I'm just nervous.

I've been doing volunteer work for a group called Art Smart. I had a meeting at a crowded cafe in Lancaster City with the director this morning. I explained my feelings about helping kids who are in the correction facility. I'll admit it's intimidating, but the cause is worth while. I will be planing a mural project for them coming up in March. The director shifted conversations and asked me about my work...

... ... I admited that I've been picking up pieces. That to create is harder than it was before... .. I've spent so much money towards my education, and a complete hault is in my near future. The director agreed and said,"well most fine artists don't make it.." My throat felt choked so I put down my coffee.. She continued, "however there is a wall for emerging artists, I got some connections, if you got a a cohesive body of work, and courage."

I said,"that would be really helpful."

where to start?

Where the Women are painting

2010-11-01T05:16:00.001-07:00

I submitted this painting to a gallery at my college.. I felt so badly because I didn't have it completed in time. My boyfriend stayed with me as I franticly worked on it... I wanted to say I can't paint, I can't draw, I can't... he said, " you have a dream, you need to practice.." and I said, "you're right."

entering the Cedar Crest Woman gallery

2010-10-22T00:43:00.000-07:00

I graduated from Cedar Crest about five months ago...
I've been back three times.. and I long to stay. Siigghh... leaving is not easy, neither is going back.

Who is the Cedar Crest Woman?
She is the woman who has been taught the importance of women's leadership. She is the woman who walks with confidence and her head held high... she loves her mind, body, and sexuality. She believes in other people... and only wants the best... for herself, her community, and the world...

That is the definition I feel I have been taught... but who am I? I left school, I work two part jobs... I've been tricked once, but I already had the sense not to take his promises seriously.. intutition has always been my best protector. It still doesn't allievate the sting of disappointment... but I made the promise to myself that I will never be desparate. So I am not put off by the situation. I wrote in an essay once, that I don't care about money, what I really want to feel is a connection to the world around me. I will always find a way to make ends meet...

So, I might just be a loser, but I don't feel that way. My head is focused on figuring this out.

I think that is who the Cedar Crest woman is... she is the woman who has the audacity to find her way, and stand up for what she believes in for better or for worse.
The painting I am working on is a woman walking in the city surrounded by people and she carries a yellow and black bag. The idea is no matter where we go, we take our eduation, and what we represent with us...

I'll post the painting when I am ready.

King Gaspar post 2,

2010-09-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

I think this will be the image I submit tomoorow...

King Gaspar post 1

2010-09-29T22:11:00.000-07:00

This is the image I made using photo shop of King Kaspar and the parrot... it's getting late... I am not sure if I want to try and add the crutch or not... I forgot how much I like using photo shop... I need to figure out the background.... siiigghhh... let's see where this takes me.

Sketch for Opera Lancaster Amahl

2010-09-28T19:55:00.001-07:00

This a rough sketch on the image I want to work on in photo shop. It's king Kaspar with his parrot, presenting his box. I still need to correct the hands, add color.... and then be prepared to submit a final copy Thursday.... I will probably go out with my boyfriend and get a drink Thursday night... for better or for worse this is the start of the image... :)

Idea!

2010-09-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

The image is clear in my head... I know it is real because I catch this spark and it ignites, because suddenly I am no longer filled with doubt... I have these rare moments of true inspiration.

Ok, the imageit is king Kaspar opening the first drawer of the box. he is wearing a beautiful gold cloak like Klint... He's suspicious, he has a grin, he's about to unveil a world, he is going to bring back a childish spirit of curiousity. This is the man we want to listen to, know, this is the man we want to move in... there is a dark floor, a space to sit in front of him, a bright parrot, Amahl;'s crutch leading to him, no Amahl because the audience is sitting in his perspective. It's like the Death of Marat, the background is abstract dark and weary. It's night, the boy is crippled, pain, and suffering exists in this world... but in the box is a hope we all want to know.... it could also be pandora's box, but lean in, experience the treasure...

Time to work.

Molly

Beginning of a a new project

2010-09-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

Soo I am tired... but I have a project to work on... I guess working all day wasn't helpful. I am making a poster for the play Amahl and the Night Visitors. As I looked into the play I realized I've seen it before... with my grandmother... I remember when King Jasper was showing Amahl the magic stones... I remember the excitement, and the idea of pretty stones containing magical powers... I was seven...

Now I am going to be 23... and I am not sure where my life is taking to me. I went to my college yesterday. One of my professors was smoking outside of the art building. She told me she was in the middle of class, and that this was her favorite building. I said, "yea.. it was my favorite building too..."
She said, "It was your home."

... ... ... I couldn't say it still is... the hours I spent there are logged away in my head. Hours in the studio, in class, being with my classmates, talking to my janitor friends, they're all spent. But, now there is a distance. I feel older like it was all a long time ago, but it hasn't been so. I won't say I miss it, or that I wish I could stay longer... but the more my mind lingers there... the more I want to create and be the person I wanted to be during school, and maybe I am slowly getting there

Recent work

2010-09-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

Crime Victim's Counsel Illustration

2010-09-07T06:35:00.001-07:00

This is a drawing I did for Chester COunty's Crime Victim's Counsel. It's alright. I feel so much better posting it now. The picture is about determing the good behaviors from the bad. Thereare five bad behaviors and six good behaviors.

ok go

2010-07-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

I realized something in the middle of the night. Every journal I have kept writes with anxiety and fear of losing what is most important to me: art.

Journals I kept during school advise to keep going with great passion and work ethnic during the times of most gloom and uncertainty. It is very easy to give up and redirect oneself. however, getting back onto the main coarse would ruin the character I was building during school. I worked in the studio to start a foundation for my life. It's no wonder the blog is attractive to me... I am writing down the journey and keeping myself updated with my disposition. It is also a way for me to try and keep connected with my classmates, but most have long left. The most important advice my senior exhibition professor gave to our class regarded posting work on the internet "the chances of people finding your work on the internet are slim, but it has to be there."

I do not advertise my blog. Although it is important to me that is here. It is here when I need to reference my personal archive. It is here when I want to show someone my work. It is here to save images when I need copies. It's here so I can practice organizing my thoughts... it's here so I see how far off coarse I am or how far I've come.

My goal is to post my three paintings in a week. They will not be done.. but they will be worked and pushed farther so I can write about the direction. I want to use this blog to discuss my influences, and I also want to write an entry about Delacroix's journal and the autobiography I read on Manet.

My drive has returned and I feel incredible.

Serious, yet...

2010-07-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

I showed my dad the large blood blister on my index finder. He studied it and said, "I guess they didn't teach you about hard work at college." I felt fat with education... I forgot that I was the first person from the Bair family to graduate from college. that everyone before me felt this blister, and knew how to lift.

I was lifting crates of milk. My mind was keen on my sketch book in my locker. i wanted to sketch the towers of lined up cartons stacked inside cardboard boxes... it reminded me of drawing class two years ago. When my professor threw down an emptybox in the center of the room. The spot lights spilled very dark to very feint shadows from the flimsy cardboard... the girl standing next to me said, "this is stupid why draw a cardboard box?"... "you're not looking," I said.

my dad sat at the other end of the cafe table. We both finished our grave yard shifts. On the opposite wall was a print of a bicycle. My dad looked at it and said, "I like that." The drawing looked flimsy to me. The frame was drawn with out a straight forward hand, the lines meandered and pulsated around the shape of a bicycle.
The waitress said,"The artist drew it with out ever setting his eyes on the page."
A contour, continous line drawing... The art of observation.

My dad said, "Molly, draw a bicycle for me." I stirred my coffee... I felt so removed from being an artist. My head focused on my making money... my heart set on becoming worth while.. My sketch book waiting inside a locker. Two unfinished canvases on display in my studio. I sleep by them, but I haven't touched either in weeks. I glance at them before closing the door.

continuing the lesson

2010-06-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

I push through a 52 hour work week. When I work nights my mind is numb. It's almost as though I don't recognize I am awake and time sails by. I walk two miles home in the morning and pass out in my studio. I wake up roughly five hours later and get ready for work or enjoy two afternoons a week to myself.
There is a pride in doing this. I am paying off debts and for the first time in my life I am able to afford a car. I receognize I need to look for better jobs but I am comfortable for the next few weeks.
I got to work last night and my manager was there in the back room. She asked me why I settled for this job isn't there anything better out there? she asked me what my major in school was? My confidence shrank... I explained I had an art degree with a premed concentration, and I needed more time to figure out what I can do. She scuffed at the art degree... I couldn't defend myself I learned this. People generally have their minds made up, and unless you can show them you're worth, you are unable to persuade anyone. I put Delacroix's journal on the break table and went out on to the retail floor.
I spent the night cleaning and stocking. At five thirty in the morning I went outside to sweep the parking lot. The sun was beginning rise. CVS is located in paved shopping complew beteen two main drags in Lancaster. Car burned down the highways on either side of the parking lot. The morning was hot. I heard the calls of birds as I picked up crushed cigarettes, and spilled McDonald's bags. The first night I cleaned the parking lot I thought I saw a glimpse of American society in the trash... dirty and unhealthy lots of cigarettes and fast food. However, I recognize that I am not in a position where I can make assumptions regarding American culture... Instead I accept that cleaning the parking lot is disgusting, but listening to the birds and seeing the last glympse of the moon is a very nice feeling.

first drawing,

2010-05-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on top of the stairs in my house. I started sketching the stairs, stairrail, living room, closet and door.

It's an empty room with my shoes by the closet door. I guess, absent is the word. It's a nice drawing, but it's subtle references the feeling I have. I am looking downward, and reevaluating spaces I know. It's different now. The reason is I am on my own, and I want to recreate my world.
I've been walking a lot. The course I am enduring is rough. It's a little rocky, but I'll keep going. The reason is I never encountered anything that I haven't been able to move. In my own way, I am smart. My sense of humor is quick... and my drive is low, but I have a feeling that I will start to pick up the pace.
My goal is work on a painting through out this week.

This is a painting by Emily Wolfe,

Some of the artusts I have been looking at is Emily Wolfe and James Whistler. The both have a quiet observation. The colors are simple, elegant, and soft. There is a sense of containment, and feeling delicate. I want my work to reflect that because right now I am searching for spaces and new faces.

New Beginning

2010-05-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

So I graduated college about a week and a day ago. The start is rough because I am in the midst of a search for jobs, for internships, for a reason to paint.
Here's where I am: I am currently working at HanesBrands, it's rough because I a major cut in hours. I have two interviews this week. The first interview is tomorrow working night shift for CVS.
I left Cedar Crest with two awards, honors, a resume, and a take on the world confidence... but, I am now leaving my support, and entering into a world where I have to find a new place. I feel so severed, but I am trying so hard to connect with the arts in Lancaster.

I was sitting on the bus two days ago and a woman sits beside me. She was older in her fifties but she dressed as though she was sixteen, and her long hair was bleached blonde. She told me that I drew well. I said, I practice a lot. She said this is not the town for you, it's the city you need. I told her I want to go to the city, she said be careful because you are small and the city preys on small people.

I am not that small.

Rest of senior show

2010-05-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

Artwork from senior exhibition

2010-05-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

This is my self portrait. It does not seem like it, but it took me a few months to complete this painting. I had a lot ot learn about composition, painting faces, and using colors I am comfortable with. I think this painting gave me a bit of reputation at school. It was posted on the Cedar Crest website. I got a lot of feed back from faculty, staff, and my class mates. This is a skeleton sketch, it's hanging behind flexi glass in the Lachaise gallery. I have five more images to post, see you soon

Ideas.. hm

2010-02-28T13:02:00.001-08:00

I didn't realize that getting ready for the senior show was going to be diffiicult but it is. I am going to start posting projects I've started.

A website I really like is: http://hyungkoolee.net/animatus/animatus.html

I just asked the anatomy professor at school if I can go into the lab and draw. So I am hoping to work on some anatomical sketches. That seems like a good place to develop from

Start of a new semester

2010-01-28T14:49:00.001-08:00

This is a picture of my current studio space. I have a 3 ft by 3 ft canvas.. I am considering painting a self portrait

I have been stressed about after graduation plans.. but I have improved my resume, I wrote my first cover letter. I think what is keeping me positive is I keep finding new resources to be inspired by.
www.butdoesitfloat.com
This is a blog for young, emerging artists, I have been looking mostly at painting and drawing.

Sleeping dog

2010-01-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

This is a painting of my dog by my front door. Her ear is proped up, suggesting the saying "sleeping with one eye open."

Robot

2010-01-02T16:38:00.000-08:00

Hi Happy New Year! I really like the feeling of a new beginning.
I've been thinking about what I want to do. I wanted to start a new series with robots. I think it is my way of showing the connection and longing for two different worlds. How we indulge in the computer's network, but I want to have a machine longing for our world. To show that our enviroments are just as valuable and may need our protection.

Draw Project

2009-12-11T13:26:00.000-08:00

This is the drawing I made for draw project 2010. The media is charcoal, watercolor, pencil and white out.

Hanging Laundry

2009-12-10T11:33:00.000-08:00

This is my most recent finished painting. Lovely. I feel genuinely happy with the outcome because I can see more than I expected. The folds in clothing, undertones, and slight color changes. I just submittted two paintings for a contest and I entered a drawing into the DrawProject. I was very excited when I walked over to FedEx Monday morning in the snow with my drawing. Nice.

Hmm..

2009-11-17T17:34:00.000-08:00

Tischgesellschaft

Rat King, Katharina Fritsch

I feel so tired. I've been trying to connect myself to the artworld. I posted my artwork on Saatchi student artists, and made some new friends.I am getting into it, and I've been strengthening my support systems. This is a link to my page on saatchi art students http://saatchi-gallery.co.uk/stuart/StudentArt/ast_id/88950/Molly%20+Bair

I found an artist I really like. Her name is Katharina Fritsch, she plays with realities that appear like an apparition but yet mimick feelings toward a mundane reality. In an everyday atmosphere there are undertone feelings. Whenever I feel very tired, everything feels like it has a gray undertone and is undulating slightly. She uses grids and repetition which is a common theme in nature.

Second Painting in the Senior Show

2009-11-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

I titled this painting branch study. I'll edit the post when I measure the actual painting. The texture to this painting is very strong. A friend warned me about my impatience. This canvas has been gessoed over three times and textures show through. With my latest painting I've been working in shorter intervals, allowing time to break from the painting. My impatience is a result of my standstill, as I am working to pull through and create images that I truely want to see. I've been finding if I work in shorter intervals, I am more reflective and it allows more time for the watercolor paint to dry. This painting is water color and Magazine paper.

Midway Show

2009-11-16T19:20:00.001-08:00

This is the gallery postcard for my senior class's Midway show opening... I am the kid playing chess against the turtle. It's really blurry because I tried to crop the image on my own computer. I am happy to say, I got the opportunity to make this image in Abode Illustrator. My class contributed by sending me images they would like to have represent themselves in the 1/2 way house. The opening was on Nov. 5 and the show is running to Dec. 4.

Shameless but that's ok

2009-11-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

This is the start of my Laundry painting And this is the final product

Laundry mixed Media

http://www.thenextgreatgeneration.com/

http://jawcooper.carbonmade.com/

I've been reading articles and looking more at contemporary artists. Illustration combined with the ideas on what it is like living in today's world. There's a lot of metaphors and play with light characters with deeper meaning. I want to continue working with representational but I want to get into the gray area of representational/abstraction.

I want to study structure and continue building planes... but at the same time I want to reach a little bit beyond traditional study and have a slightly modern take. I've been using bright, transparent colors, and playing with layering and building.

I've been painting clothing, because I am getting close to abstraction but I am still grounded in the real world. Art is an illusion but some people will claim reality is an illusion. So right there is interest. I've been playing with clothing and bringing them to a level of an inbetween abstraction and representational painting. That is how my world appears when I am doing laudry at three o'clock in the morning.

I've found another gray area between personal and objective. I don't have an image that is a straight out my reflection, but when I throw a bra onto a laundry hook or pile of clothing, it appears personal yet removed from the artist. It's sad that I have a decent collection of bras by working at a bra store... but I like the feminine touch.

Sculpture and sketch

2009-11-09T18:26:00.000-08:00

This is a heart I carved out of plaster in 2008. It is coated with red acrylic paint.

This a ten minute sketch of Derek. I was practicing for the Cedar Crest College talent show. My talent drawing a portrait in ten minutes. It almosted worked out, but Iam happy to be a part of the show.

Joe Page Installation

2009-11-02T13:35:00.001-08:00

This is a picture of me sitting in front of Joe Page's installation Flow Chart at Cedar Crest College. I am very content because I helped to set up the installation and the final product is simply fantastic

More Art Pieces

2009-11-02T13:31:00.001-08:00

This is a pelvis carved out of Plaster, I submitted the sculpture to the Vagina Monologues Gallery. This is a study of sticks I did. This is actually my second water color painting... I found a new love for the medias water color and india ink

This is a piece I submitted to the Merchantile Gallery in Easton, PA. The lion fish is a print there is ink, acrylic and pieces of magazines.

2009-10-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

Paintings part 1

2009-10-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

Here is three of my paintings
The first one is titled My Nature. It explains my interests and intentions. I love Nature Writing, it is my favorite Nonfiction Genre, and it is a sort of reflection of my connections between science, art, and writing.

Strength and Structure. This is a painting done in 2008. Magazine and Acrylic.

This is my first painting finished in college. It's a self portrait in front of my elementary school play ground. Acrylic and Magazine pieces

Half way House

2009-10-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

This is arough draft for the senior exhibition card. Trish said she would help m,e load it onto illustrator tomorrow morning. Love, Molly

james Bloomfield

2009-10-01T09:39:00.001-07:00

This is a print by James Bloomfield. I found him in an antique store in Kentucky. I can not explain why I really love this print. I honestly debated spending seventy five dollars for it. The print reminds me of an artwork I've seen before, but I don't remember. I just feel a strong like for it... odd right?

James Bloomfield he is a folk artist who lives as a hermit in the mountains. Most of his art is wood carvings that have a religious theme... I just tore apart my dorm room looking for the brochure from the antique store, and I tried to find information on him online, but I can only find small bits of information on him and his place with the self taught and outsider artists. The most informative page I found is his blog site... I can potentially be a fan...

Check this out

2009-09-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

Lucy Gans
My boyfriend and I met on Friday night. We went to see Lucy Gans show at Moravian College. I got excited because there is a hallway of these incredible self portraits in the student center. This is the artist, whose poster is on my wall. Her portraits are distraught, there is an incredible injustice against women. The fight for equality is far from over. There is still high statistics of domestic and work place abuse and crime against gener. The drawing representing the most intense statistics, the portrait covered her eyes. In other portraits sad truths caused her eyes well up with tears. I turned to Derek and asked him, "Do you think women are weak?" I felt sensitive over lost. I tried to follow the writing of ghostly, partially erased script beyond and below the portraits.
Her paintings spoke of truth and reality but also revealed emotion of a single person. Someone cares about these women. And when my boyfriend and I left, I knew two more people cared about these statistics and the women they represented.

Rob Sato

The show in the Metropolis gallery this month is Robert Sato. I loved the show. There were images of two faced people. Falling planes with trees attached to them. The images revealed destruction and battle. Man vs machine vs nature. There were painting of crime scene because the computer user was shot by video game he was playing. It was really grim... the realities we can play with.
In the middle of the gallery on the table was a Juxtapoz magazine. I stoped over images by an an artist known as Rockin Jelly Bean... I couldn't stand the images, I felt disgust and uncomfortable. I didn't like looking at images of highly sexualized women with ice cream or candy. I know it's a hyberbole on modern advertisements... but what about natural beauty and actual love for women... it's a superficial image... the paintings were missing everything I love about women, and being a woman.

Paintings and Sketches September 2009

2009-09-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Sketch of a boot with ink and water color.
It's been an odd beginning. I've been painting pictures of mundane things. Someone told me there is a humbleness to these, but there is a vacancy due to an absence of person. The paintings of dying apples also hint at a fragility of life... it's been unconcious and unintentional. I need to change directions again... I need to figure out my true intentions quickly. I need to get up, my paintings from my fall semester last year. The reason is, I switched from complete subjectivity to complete objectivity. Complete subjectivity is personal, revealing, and doesn't connect with an audience. Complete objectivity... is just a painting.

I am afraid of the fact, the Hemlocks are dying, and scientists do not what type of tree is going to replace them. There is a lot of uncertainty, and contemporary artists confront this uncertainty with irony. Something sweet is hurting or bitter or is hiding darker intentions. I get it, but now I am going to work by connecting with other recent artists to figure out who they are, and what it means to be an artist today. It's not easy but I have to try.

Painted Chest

2009-09-12T15:40:00.001-07:00

In 2006 my grandfather gave me a trunk to take to College. When I got the trunk in my dorm, I created a painting for it. The painting is strange. I love poems by William Butler Yeats. And I chose his poem Leda and the Swan. I love the final words, "Did she put on his knowledge with his power?" The painting is referencing knowledge learned by nature, amongst other personal and familial symbolism.

And the painting is ok, I want to stay away from making personal symbolic paintings. When I see mine, I sometimes feel as though I am looking into a mirror, and it's not the image I would like everyone to see. It's easier for me to communicate a message that isn't personal but one that shares and relates to more people. The reason why I am posting this image is because I did take the time to make this painting and it is a reflection on my development as artist.

Late Night Diner

2009-09-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

I am excited because I had two cups of coffee and a bowl of chocolate icecream at 2 o'clock in the morning.

I went to the A-town diner with my friend, Lindsay. She is a studio Art major as well. She ordered french fries with her coffee.
We spoke about artists and the impact of art in our lives. She brought with her a book of paintings done by Alice Neel and I brought a book of art by Picasso. It is very strange to compare the two artists because there are similarities. Especially with an almost outline of the figure and flat colored bodies. When I look Neel's painting I feel as though the heads of her figures are constantly nodding because the head especially the face appears to have more weight than the whimsical body.
And... I've always loved Picasso. He has broken down and rebuilt realities, dimensions and imagination. His paintings have a curosity that lure the viewer and pull their eyes rapidly around the painting. The composition is usually very striking with masks figures, floating heads, lights, and people who appear to be emotionally on another plane.
I realized though, when Lindsay asked about my plan for the senior show that I am slightly nervous. I am anxious about my senior project. I want to create something... strong, but reflective. Existing, but only existing in part. Curious but plain. I think that is why I love painting and drawing sticks.

I was painting a nude figure today in class. I couldn't figure out the perspective and balence. I wanted to portray her realisticly, but I couldn't. Even with a lot of practice, I couldn't do it. I have doubts that I will never reach a finished image. And worse yet they transform into thoughts about not being good enough, or smart enough... it is an endless chain. I keep reminding myself that, I'll see this through because that's what I will learn to do. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will be back in the painting studio.

Art Criticism

2009-09-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

I started to read, In Relation to the Whole by Rackstaw Downes. I am very excited. The reason is I never thought to evaluate the Art Critic. The most I've known, probably learned from my Travel Soccer days, is if you get a bad review, practice more and make sure you're prepared to kickass next time. However, what if the art piece is not par to the critics standards of Art? Is it even worth to impress the professional if it deviates from the artist's truest intention?
Art used to be viewed in a Hegel Philosophy, which is learn from the past to determine the future. At one point Art was considered sublime when it redressed antique art. In other words study from the masters to out do their work. There also seemed to be security for artists to conform to the trends and movements of their time which continously aimed to improve the quality of art. Which may be necessary practice for an artist to survive. Although it was the plucky artists who made the strongest statments against conformity of the different art movements
I feel as though the Hegel way of thinking may be inadequate because I believe a person is not in direct competition with the past to eventually conform to present standards. I believe a person should be influenced by a master but develop his own body of work. Perphaps the most valuable criticism reflects on the Artist's commitment to his study and how well he achieved his goal.
When evaluating an art piece, I do my best to be honest. I want first the person to explain her piece. The first thing I look for is reflection. With great reflection exists time, observation and development of skill. Technique and quality are important because there is a dialogue between the artist and the viewer. The Artist should strive for the best possible dialog to deliever her message to the viewer. Because the delivery of the message gives art strength and meaning whether it is personal or universal. By delivery, I mean composition, style, skill, time, and motivation.

Beginning of an Artist Statement

2009-09-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

I wrote down words today to form an artist statement. It's not personal, most of it is common sense. I took Nature Writing last year, and I did well in the course. It's an odd genre of writing because as I sat in class, I felt a sense of looming danger as a consequence for carelessness. All Nature writers feel this; they write with hope to encourage others to act. As it should be because things may be bad, but they can always change. After explaining this, I want to write my scattered words.

Random Words for Artist Statement

Nature is to Human, repeating patterns and syststems
Humans have need to control chaos but life is random
Lose of control random probability, repeling electrons
beauty in reflection. Experience gained by time
Frankenstein
Adventure, lesson, risk-choice
Millions of beliefs, all valid by each own person, inequality
"Everything you imagine is real": Picasso
Collage of diversity
Ugly is to beauty as Nature is to Human
beauty is to ugly as Nature is to Human
Fate vs Freewill
Either Romantic thinking or not
Learn to love Nature
or natural diseaster for future generations
Learn to embrace eachother
or human diseaster for future generations
by existance of art we may communicate through different times and spaces
Welcome many individual realities and identities because everything ties
together

I want to write my first draft next week.

Contest Entries

2009-09-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

I sumbited this image for a magazine cover design... it was way too dark. I know for next time not to use charcoal for entries. It is really rough. This image won a t-shirt contest... although it was banned from my school.... ..... ....

This an ink and water color painting that won for the Health and Wellness logo for Cedar Crest College. I made a mistake though. Cherry wood represent knowledge and health. Cherry blossom represents short lived and fragile. But since we're human, I imagine we all feel that way when it comes to our health.

Pen and Pencil drawings

2009-09-03T19:30:00.001-07:00

Pen sketch of sword on fabric Iinterned at Landis Valley Museum this summer and the next two sketches are from there.

This is a pencil sketch of my closet

Sketch book drawings

2009-09-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

This is an ink sketch of Derek. Not bad, but the nose is too small.

I went to Kentucky this summer,and stayed in a cabin. This is my jacket hanging off the rail.

This is a sketch of my ink bloter on fabric. I like it.

Derek made a campfire, and I drew a picture of logs... I swear I am not lazy, and I could have helped if I really wanted too.

Thisis my favorite sketch I feel as though I drew my collared shirt so nicely. It makes me smile.

This is a chair... nevermore

Paintings and Prints 2008-09

2009-08-29T16:56:00.001-07:00

At Cedar Crest College there are three things no Art Student can escape with out knowing. They are the Art class's female Model. The Statue of a decapitated nude boy squeezing a fish. And this fellow Baum, this is a painting of the bust of Baum. His face crooked because the bust was made post stroke.
This is a painting of my boyfriend's parents. I made them a christmas gift in 2007. It's slightly odd, but I feel a sense of Jackson Pollock, especially his early work "Going West". I used similar browns and the sofa adds the same oval composition.
This is a lion fish, my first wood cut print. I love using wood cut. There is a straigh line crossing through the eye. I accidently slipped the blade and cut my finger. I got frustrated, but then I took a break went online and started looking up internships. I then got an internship at Landis Valley Museum for the Summer, cool right.
This a painted box for my Boyfriend, Derek for Christmas. The guy loves owls. I wasn't sure about posting this image because I am not keen about the style. It reminds me so much of the Harry Potter Fan art... although if I wanted I could submit in a Harry Potter fan art contest... and.... and...
This is a study of Derek. This is a fun story. We were both at my favorite coffee shop for dinner. I started to draw pictures of him on napkins. Oddly enough, I started to get attention from passerbys. So I went out got a canvas and the painted a study of him watching Family Guy... yes it is that easy.
Derek, as a college requirement, has to take, Art History. He had to write a paper on one thing he thought is Art and one thing that he doesn't consider Art. He chose to bring in my painting of him as Art. His professor, said my painting style resembled Van Gogh. Blushing.... although Van Gogh did go insane, and I hope very much that isn't in my future.

Sketches 2008-09

2009-08-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

This is one of my latest nude studies, Spring 2009. My art professor sophomore year said my work resembles Kathy Kollwitz. I love Kolwitz's prints and figure studies. But, they really scare me.. they represent the dark fear of loss and grief.

2009, I love the belly and legs of this figure. Something definitely went right. 2009
This is an adstract drawing, drawn from a close up of a still life. I saw fish and I used magazines as a method for adding color.
This is a nude study, it's ok. I really like the belly again. I love the shadows on necks, and they always appear very strong.
This is a 30 piece still life drawn in 2008. Want to count the images? I just tried and gave up. My favorite is the sketch of the lantern. Go to the water bucket, follow the spout and there is the top of the lantern.
This a water color and charcoal drawing from 2009
2009
This is a portrait of a girl from my drawing class in 2008.
Study for the painting Baum.
2008.

Romaine Brooks

2009-08-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

This is my first week of the semester, I am not in the routine of being swamped with work, yet. I went to the library before watching the Real World with my room mate, Jasmine. I glanced at the art section on the second floor of the Cressmen Library by the windows. I pulled out books on N.C. Wyeth and Charles Demuth. I am glad to say I went to the BrandyWine River museum this summer, and I loved it. I feel as though my own work is heading to the more natural tones of Andrew Wyeth. I also want to paint still lifes like Demuth. As I searched more, behind a biography of De Kooning, I saw her.

I saw on a book cover, a ghost who escaped the hellish ruin in the background. She wore a top hat and long black jacket; she stood tall and confident. Maybe it is human nature to be curious about hell and ruin. I held the book with two hands as I tried to see into the eyes of the ghost. A black shadow casted by her top hat conceals her icy stare. I could barely see the whites of her eyes. The heavy, charred, blue sky behind her gave me an unexpected heaviness. The feeling of Apocalypse has the same crushing weight. This is Romaine Brooks. As I flipped through the first chapter, this is a portrait of a forever scarred soul emerging from the Holocaust. I felt the power of strength, and will, by looking at the straightness of someone who emerged out of ash and ember. She's not a ghost at all, she's a survivor. This must be the epitome of endurance and perservance of the human heart. I put the Wyeth books back on the shelf.

The beginning of this series

2009-08-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Hello, My name is Molly Bair. This is a picture of me at the Mattress Factory in Pittsburgh, PA. This is an installation by Yayoi Kusama, Infinity Dots Mirrored Room. The picture is not great quality because it was taken by my dad on his cell phone.

I am a starting artist. My purpose for having a blog is to discover other artists as well as present my own porfolio. My journals are weekly updates of my work as well as my influences.

Currently, I am a senior at Cedar Crest College. I am an Integrated Art with Science Major. Which is self designed. As for my career goals, I am in limbo. It's my last year as an undergraduate student and I am working on figuring out the next step. I have looked into Art Conservation, Art journalism, and Museum Studies. I have also looked at pursuing my own work, the starving artist stigma is very chilling. It is overwhelming to find a niche.Well, it's about self discovery and self realization as well as learning from other people.

This is the reason my blog site will not limited to my work but to finding the works of others whether it be literature, music, art.