continuing the lesson

I push through a 52 hour work week. When I work nights my mind is numb. It's almost as though I don't recognize I am awake and time sails by. I walk two miles home in the morning and pass out in my studio. I wake up roughly five hours later and get ready for work or enjoy two afternoons a week to myself.
There is a pride in doing this. I am paying off debts and for the first time in my life I am able to afford a car. I receognize I need to look for better jobs but I am comfortable for the next few weeks.
I got to work last night and my manager was there in the back room. She asked me why I settled for this job isn't there anything better out there? she asked me what my major in school was? My confidence shrank... I explained I had an art degree with a premed concentration, and I needed more time to figure out what I can do. She scuffed at the art degree... I couldn't defend myself I learned this. People generally have their minds made up, and unless you can show them you're worth, you are unable to persuade anyone. I put Delacroix's journal on the break table and went out on to the retail floor.
I spent the night cleaning and stocking. At five thirty in the morning I went outside to sweep the parking lot. The sun was beginning rise. CVS is located in paved shopping complew beteen two main drags in Lancaster. Car burned down the highways on either side of the parking lot. The morning was hot. I heard the calls of birds as I picked up crushed cigarettes, and spilled McDonald's bags. The first night I cleaned the parking lot I thought I saw a glimpse of American society in the trash... dirty and unhealthy lots of cigarettes and fast food. However, I recognize that I am not in a position where I can make assumptions regarding American culture... Instead I accept that cleaning the parking lot is disgusting, but listening to the birds and seeing the last glympse of the moon is a very nice feeling.