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Lucy Gans
My boyfriend and I met on Friday night. We went to see Lucy Gans show at Moravian College. I got excited because there is a hallway of these incredible self portraits in the student center. This is the artist, whose poster is on my wall. Her portraits are distraught, there is an incredible injustice against women. The fight for equality is far from over. There is still high statistics of domestic and work place abuse and crime against gener. The drawing representing the most intense statistics, the portrait covered her eyes. In other portraits sad truths caused her eyes well up with tears. I turned to Derek and asked him, "Do you think women are weak?" I felt sensitive over lost. I tried to follow the writing of ghostly, partially erased script beyond and below the portraits.
Her paintings spoke of truth and reality but also revealed emotion of a single person. Someone cares about these women. And when my boyfriend and I left, I knew two more people cared about these statistics and the women they represented.

Rob Sato

The show in the Metropolis gallery this month is Robert Sato. I loved the show. There were images of two faced people. Falling planes with trees attached to them. The images revealed destruction and battle. Man vs machine vs nature. There were painting of crime scene because the computer user was shot by video game he was playing. It was really grim... the realities we can play with.
In the middle of the gallery on the table was a Juxtapoz magazine. I stoped over images by an an artist known as Rockin Jelly Bean... I couldn't stand the images, I felt disgust and uncomfortable. I didn't like looking at images of highly sexualized women with ice cream or candy. I know it's a hyberbole on modern advertisements... but what about natural beauty and actual love for women... it's a superficial image... the paintings were missing everything I love about women, and being a woman.

Paintings and Sketches September 2009

Sketch of a boot with ink and water color.
It's been an odd beginning. I've been painting pictures of mundane things. Someone told me there is a humbleness to these, but there is a vacancy due to an absence of person. The paintings of dying apples also hint at a fragility of life... it's been unconcious and unintentional. I need to change directions again... I need to figure out my true intentions quickly. I need to get up, my paintings from my fall semester last year. The reason is, I switched from complete subjectivity to complete objectivity. Complete subjectivity is personal, revealing, and doesn't connect with an audience. Complete objectivity... is just a painting.

I am afraid of the fact, the Hemlocks are dying, and scientists do not what type of tree is going to replace them. There is a lot of uncertainty, and contemporary artists confront this uncertainty with irony. Something sweet is hurting or bitter or is hiding darker intentions. I get it, but now I am going to work by connecting with other recent artists to figure out who they are, and what it means to be an artist today. It's not easy but I have to try.

Painted Chest

In 2006 my grandfather gave me a trunk to take to College. When I got the trunk in my dorm, I created a painting for it. The painting is strange. I love poems by William Butler Yeats. And I chose his poem Leda and the Swan. I love the final words, "Did she put on his knowledge with his power?" The painting is referencing knowledge learned by nature, amongst other personal and familial symbolism.

And the painting is ok, I want to stay away from making personal symbolic paintings. When I see mine, I sometimes feel as though I am looking into a mirror, and it's not the image I would like everyone to see. It's easier for me to communicate a message that isn't personal but one that shares and relates to more people. The reason why I am posting this image is because I did take the time to make this painting and it is a reflection on my development as artist.

Late Night Diner

I am excited because I had two cups of coffee and a bowl of chocolate icecream at 2 o'clock in the morning.

I went to the A-town diner with my friend, Lindsay. She is a studio Art major as well. She ordered french fries with her coffee.
We spoke about artists and the impact of art in our lives. She brought with her a book of paintings done by Alice Neel and I brought a book of art by Picasso. It is very strange to compare the two artists because there are similarities. Especially with an almost outline of the figure and flat colored bodies. When I look Neel's painting I feel as though the heads of her figures are constantly nodding because the head especially the face appears to have more weight than the whimsical body.
And... I've always loved Picasso. He has broken down and rebuilt realities, dimensions and imagination. His paintings have a curosity that lure the viewer and pull their eyes rapidly around the painting. The composition is usually very striking with masks figures, floating heads, lights, and people who appear to be emotionally on another plane.
I realized though, when Lindsay asked about my plan for the senior show that I am slightly nervous. I am anxious about my senior project. I want to create something... strong, but reflective. Existing, but only existing in part. Curious but plain. I think that is why I love painting and drawing sticks.

I was painting a nude figure today in class. I couldn't figure out the perspective and balence. I wanted to portray her realisticly, but I couldn't. Even with a lot of practice, I couldn't do it. I have doubts that I will never reach a finished image. And worse yet they transform into thoughts about not being good enough, or smart enough... it is an endless chain. I keep reminding myself that, I'll see this through because that's what I will learn to do. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will be back in the painting studio.

Art Criticism

I started to read, In Relation to the Whole by Rackstaw Downes. I am very excited. The reason is I never thought to evaluate the Art Critic. The most I've known, probably learned from my Travel Soccer days, is if you get a bad review, practice more and make sure you're prepared to kickass next time. However, what if the art piece is not par to the critics standards of Art? Is it even worth to impress the professional if it deviates from the artist's truest intention?
Art used to be viewed in a Hegel Philosophy, which is learn from the past to determine the future. At one point Art was considered sublime when it redressed antique art. In other words study from the masters to out do their work. There also seemed to be security for artists to conform to the trends and movements of their time which continously aimed to improve the quality of art. Which may be necessary practice for an artist to survive. Although it was the plucky artists who made the strongest statments against conformity of the different art movements
I feel as though the Hegel way of thinking may be inadequate because I believe a person is not in direct competition with the past to eventually conform to present standards. I believe a person should be influenced by a master but develop his own body of work. Perphaps the most valuable criticism reflects on the Artist's commitment to his study and how well he achieved his goal.
When evaluating an art piece, I do my best to be honest. I want first the person to explain her piece. The first thing I look for is reflection. With great reflection exists time, observation and development of skill. Technique and quality are important because there is a dialogue between the artist and the viewer. The Artist should strive for the best possible dialog to deliever her message to the viewer. Because the delivery of the message gives art strength and meaning whether it is personal or universal. By delivery, I mean composition, style, skill, time, and motivation.

Beginning of an Artist Statement

I wrote down words today to form an artist statement. It's not personal, most of it is common sense. I took Nature Writing last year, and I did well in the course. It's an odd genre of writing because as I sat in class, I felt a sense of looming danger as a consequence for carelessness. All Nature writers feel this; they write with hope to encourage others to act. As it should be because things may be bad, but they can always change. After explaining this, I want to write my scattered words.

Random Words for Artist Statement

Nature is to Human, repeating patterns and syststems
Humans have need to control chaos but life is random
Lose of control random probability, repeling electrons
beauty in reflection. Experience gained by time
Frankenstein
Adventure, lesson, risk-choice
Millions of beliefs, all valid by each own person, inequality
"Everything you imagine is real": Picasso
Collage of diversity
Ugly is to beauty as Nature is to Human
beauty is to ugly as Nature is to Human
Fate vs Freewill
Either Romantic thinking or not
Learn to love Nature
or natural diseaster for future generations
Learn to embrace eachother
or human diseaster for future generations
by existance of art we may communicate through different times and spaces
Welcome many individual realities and identities because everything ties
together

I want to write my first draft next week.

Contest Entries

I sumbited this image for a magazine cover design... it was way too dark. I know for next time not to use charcoal for entries. It is really rough. This image won a t-shirt contest... although it was banned from my school.... ..... ....

This an ink and water color painting that won for the Health and Wellness logo for Cedar Crest College. I made a mistake though. Cherry wood represent knowledge and health. Cherry blossom represents short lived and fragile. But since we're human, I imagine we all feel that way when it comes to our health.

Pen and Pencil drawings

Pen sketch of sword on fabric Iinterned at Landis Valley Museum this summer and the next two sketches are from there.

This is a pencil sketch of my closet

Sketch book drawings

This is an ink sketch of Derek. Not bad, but the nose is too small.

I went to Kentucky this summer,and stayed in a cabin. This is my jacket hanging off the rail.

This is a sketch of my ink bloter on fabric. I like it.

Derek made a campfire, and I drew a picture of logs... I swear I am not lazy, and I could have helped if I really wanted too.

Thisis my favorite sketch I feel as though I drew my collared shirt so nicely. It makes me smile.

This is a chair... nevermore